I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize