Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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