ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
