So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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