I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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