I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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