remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
