Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We had sex on a dog bed..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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