woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize