I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
