Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
