Your mouth is God's brothel.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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