This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
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