So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
