Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize