Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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