I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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