Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You are a genius and a whore.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
