you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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