The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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