hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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