i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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