how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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