After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
