I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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