my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
