normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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