Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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