So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
