I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
