so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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