they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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