come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
operation harelip BJ is a go
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
