You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
