New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
