I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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