Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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