just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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