he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
