Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
