I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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