come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
