I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
