...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
