Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
