well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize