How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
