i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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