Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
