you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
