I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm getting married
To pizza
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
