my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
