Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I need moral support for this bender
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
