my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it was like eating out sand paper
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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