Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
