Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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