Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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