i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
