Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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