omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize