I think I died a long time ago.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
