Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
