HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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