And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
