I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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