We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
