I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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