He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
