You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize