I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
from now on my penis is your penis
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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